The following 6 years have been the toughest ever, it’s impossible for me to blog about it all , I’m saving that for my first book. I can certainly outline some of it for you just now.
I suddenly entered the world of hospital visits , pediatrian , phsycologist, cdc , Chams , speech and language, just to name a few , the stress was unreal and the fight we had was even worse. Danny had mastered the art of masking , so at playgroup, nursery , school he would put a mask on and hold all the insecurities inside making it look like he was coping only a few teachers actually picked up on his issues and tired to help us the rest were sadly not interested ….As soon as he was free from that environment all hell broke loose. We called him our jekyl and Hyde , constantly walking on egg shells , waiting for his next explosion. Danny is very aggressive and violent and this is how he expresses his anxiety and fears and misunderstandings , I’ve suffered broken nose ,my jaw being knocked out of line, bruises, cuts, kicking, punching, threats of him killing me with various items too. At 4 years old he held a knife to my stomach ! Saying he was going to kill me. Over the years I was sent to parent courses galore ! Think the authorities wanted to put some blame on me but no way was that happening.
Finally we were told Danny had PDA pathological demand avoidance …but this couldn’t be officially diagnosed in Scotland as it isn’t recognised here yet. So on his files it’s Autism with PDA traits. Danny also has severe hypermobility which means most days he struggles to walk, he is in constant pain and is exhausted all the time. He has to be monitored when playing so he spent overdo it ….trying to tell a 6 year old he cant jump on his tramploine for long etc isnt easy especialy with mental health issues. Danny has also been diagnosed with childhood tics/tourettes which he can and might grow out of. Danny doesn’t sleep well either and thankfully to our community supporting me we managed to fundraise over 2 months and purchase a safety sleeper from the usa to keep him safe during the night when he is awake or having a meltdown.
Thankfully we have a small close family who all understand and are very supportive in keeping myself and my husband going through each day. We are also lucky to have a handful of very close friends who we can also be ourselves around, it makes such a difference when we don’t have to put an act on for people or constantly explain Danny’s behaviours . Danny is high functioning and very very intelligent so this will hopefully let him be independent as an adult and there is no reason he can’t be very successful in what he wants to do. …but we also are aware this might not be the case and we constantly worry about when we are gone, who will be there for him ? To help, to explain, to understand ? We always wished for a sibling but that will never happen sadly , so it’s Danny alone. That’s why we have to work so hard at getting all the help and support for him now so in the future he will hopefully have the support he needs when we’re gone.
Our life 